Our Job as Parents

There are several things weighing down my heart tonight.

I was reminded today that we as parents are given a job to do.... By mere definition we are responsible for raising up our children. We are in charge of raising up our children in the way that he or she are to go, so that when they are older they will continue the path that they were taught.

Yet tomorrow is not a day that is necessarily promised. This world is not a perfect place and we are not guaranteed the next hour, much less the next ten years. Tomorrow may hold a car accident, illness, or injury that radically changes everything we hold near and dear. Life, something that is so easy to take for granted, really isn't guaranteed. It can strike anyone of any age too.... parents have lost children, children have lost their parents, siblings lose siblings....

If that tomorrow came someday, how would others remember the time they spent with you? In my case I wonder if I would be remembered as the mom who was always too busy to color.... or if it would be the positive things like the snuggles at nap time and the big warm hugs. Or would the moodiness and lack of desire to cook win out over the loving care of the kids and the keeper of the home.

If tomorrow were to come someday, would I wish that I had been more accepting of the little annoying habits.... more patient with the putzing around.... would I wish that I had stopped and enjoyed the laughter, late night wake ups, hold me moms.... or would I know that I did my best job as a parent that I could do at the time?

I hope that Mike and I never have to find out. I feel for Lily's family that they unfortunately did have to find out. Our thoughts and prayers are with you guys, and as I don't know why these things happen, I can only trust that the Lord had better plans.

(Lily is a little girl we know that passed away April 3 at the age of 3. Savannah and Lily had played several times, though not enough to have to discuss it with Savannah. Lily's death was unexpected, and at this time the cause is still unknown (to us), though she did have some health issues that might have attributed to her passing.)

News like that however makes you stop and think.... and make sure that you have your priorities straight. It makes me stop and think about the job I am doing at this job of parenting...

and lately I am not so sure.

We are still having issues with this schooling stuff, wondering if we have her in the right place for now and whether we are going through a growing phase or if it really isn't a good fit. It weighs on my heart as a mom though when I hear Savannah crying herself to sleep because she doesn't like her new school....

but looking back, which will it be? Will she look back and say, "thank you mom for making me stick it out, it turned out to be the best thing for me." Or will it be "how could you keep sending me when you knew I didn't like it."

I guess though, in light of the other circumstances, this time we are in now seems so minuscule.....