Thoughts about Rosemond

So there are a lot of things that Rosemond brought up in the parenting talks that made a lot of sense. There were things that I could say, hey, I have started doing that.... then there were things in which I felt I definitely had room for improvement. (one area of improvement, taking my children too seriously. I am getting better at it though.)

There were also some places in which we realized that the ways of doing things in the past would no longer be feasible in today's society. One was the kick the kids out the front door to go play when mom needs to get stuff done. Biggest thing being that back fifty years ago, the rest of society was such that there was a respect for children as much as the children had a respect for the adults. IE, there was not the high rates of child abduction and so forth that we see today, because there was a lot more clearly defined boundaries. Also, the older children often tended to have a higher sense of responsibility for the younger children. Sending the younger kids out to play with the older ones, you used to be able to count on the older kids to keep the younger ones out of the street for example, but nowadays safety is more of a concern to the average parent.

Also there were areas that we questioned how far one should go in parental non-involvement. For example, Rosemond mentioned at one point in his message that the parents shouldn't even feel guilted into helping with the homework, as helping is in itself a form of enabling. When a child is struggling with a math problem, etc, which really is better, sitting down with the child and reviewing the lesson again, or telling the child that they are smart enough to figure it out just like we had to figure it out when we were in x grade in school. Rosemond's point was that there are problems in life where we will be stuck on the solution and work on it for months or years, not just minutes like a math problem. Does helping them in the little things, really help them in the end?

We did like the fact that he debunked the theory of Behavior Modification. (I have come to realize just how hard it is though to get away from all behavior modification practices, as that I have caught myself using it as a way to encourage potty training.) We did realize the truth in it... we do have a nature to want to prove others wrong, and that really is the problem to the theory.